Whitegood problems

Did I tell you that I bought a fridge? In Gasa fridges are pretty unnecessary but in Samdinkha it is a tiny bit warmer. I never knew that vegetables could melt. Some sag (mustard greens or pretty much spinach) turned into a terrifying green puddle that looked like some sort of evil creature from a science fiction story that was going to eat my face or infect my brain. Or both. Also the insects, mostly ants, are really determined. So determined that they made it into my zip-lock bags, I still haven't figured out how, and enjoyed some foods like cheese and bread. Now, the cheese is easily washed but the bread, which is really difficult to get, was riddled with the little buggers. I know that I could have just eaten some extra protein but I just wasn't that hungry. Instead, I asked some of my fellow Punakha BCF-ers where they got their little bar fridges and went off to a store in Bajo (about an hour and a half away but there is a really good pizza restaurant and internet) in search of a really small fridge that would cost about 7000 Nu or 140 dollars. Now, I knew that I probably wouldn't get a fridge that day because my fellow Punakha BCF-er said she got the last one but they were willing to order.

After getting slightly lost because, after all, I'm still me, I found the store where they very kindly said they would order me the little fridge and it would apparently take one week. I'm not totally stupid so I assumed it would take at least two. When that passed I decided to check that they hadn't forgotten about me. They promised that they hadn't and it would be in on Monday. Obviously I gave them another couple weeks and lost a lot more food.

I have to admit that I was kinda getting annoyed (my mom may complain that my use of 'kinda' is a bit of an understatement and she had to put up with my ranting) and though I knew that I probably shouldn't be surprised at the slightly optimistic time-estimation being wrong, I decided to head to Kuru (much closer) and just buy the smallest, cheapest fridge I could find. I had also been told that the place had free delivery and as a cheapskate that's always nice. I went and found a fridge that was not quite as small but good enough. I asked the sales guy about free delivery, which having seen a truck with the store's logo and 'free delivery' I was pretty positive about, but he told me that the driver was on holiday for two months. That's fair enough. If there's no licensed driver then they can't really deliver and he kindly told me that there was another store which could do free delivery. I thought that was very 'Miracle on 34^th Street' of him (the Natalie Wood version not that crappy remake) so I went basically next door where the fridges were more expensive and they too could not deliver, for free or cost. I think this might have been when mom got a call and I ranted again. Don't you just love mommies? Fortunately, there was another way. See the first guy also said that I could find a taxi driver with a big enough cab to take the fridge. So back to that guy I went after finding a taxi driver who was happy to drive me and my fridge home. Now, the first guy knew where I lived and I had made it clear that I wanted the fridge on that day. When I turned up with the taxi driver he suddenly told me that he didn't actually have the fridge and would have to order it from Bajo but it should be in on Monday and no, I couldn't have the display fridge. I think he could see that I was not happy so he told me what I really needed. He took me to the little store next door which sold drinks and snacks and had a little fridge. He told me that it was exactly what I wanted and is what I should buy. He then followed that by telling me that nobody made that fridge any more and there was nowhere I could buy it.

I would like to say that I did not use any profanity, unkind or impolite language. I did just say thank you and good-bye in a slightly less warm and fuzzy way than normal. I went back to the second store, walked in and asked them if they had the fridge for the price they quoted me that I could put into the very patient taxi driver's car. Success!!!

I now enjoy cold water, non-insecty food and no more green puddles of slime. I'm still waiting for a call from the guy from Bajo. I will let you know if he ever calls.

It's time for the FpAJACEA Awards!

The First possibly Annual Jibjokha Amusing and Confusing Exam Answer Awards

Good Evening, or whatever time of day it happens to be when you are reading this, and welcome to the FpAJACEAAs. This year we have seen many sterling performances in the field of strange and/or funny exam answers. All participants should feel very proud of their efforts but, sadly, there can only be one winner.

The first award is Wol's Award for Great Creativity in Spelling (See Winnie the Pooh, the chapter which features Eeyore's birthday).

The bronze goes to the spelling 'Asulita.' Can you work out the intended word? That's right, it's 'Australia.' A great effort but points were deducted for only using letters which were really included in the word and for making a plausible looking word.

The silver goes to 'Pthoh.' This word is slightly easier to work out, being 'Pythons' but it was an amazing effort given that the exam paper had the word written correctly 27 times. Well done!

But the gold can only go to 'Hosticifctal.' This truly heroic spelling of 'Hospital' just laughs in the face of phonics. Congratulations!

The next Award is the Inigo Montoya Award for I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means. There were many contestants for this confusing, malaproping award but here are the top three:

The bronze goes to a confusing culinary effort or perhaps a sentence where the author wished to threaten his stationary by saying 'The notebook is mince.'

The silver goes to the slightly disturbing 'I will build bleading house.' This creepy sentence suggests that the author enjoyed Amityville Horror just a bit too much but I really have no idea what they really meant.

But the gold goes to the double malaproping of 'Prime minister is one of any goat.' and 'Our Bhutan is like a goat.' Well Done to this possible political commentary! (I think the author may have meant 'gold')

Now we come to the Shouldn't That Be a Word? Award. This is a special award only given occasionally to the truly accidentally creative. While trying to write the words 'prime minister' the author gave us the word 'primister.' Shouldn't all male PMs get called that?

Another special award is the I'm Too Tired to Think of a Name for This Award Award which goes to a student who not only invented a sport but what to wear while you play it. 'Becket boll coat' I'm guessing is the coat you wear while playing a game where the goal is to irritate the English King so much that he has you killed. I realise that Beckett was incorrectly spelt but I can think of no other logical explanation. (Apologies to Mark and Tim who probably tried a few times to get me to play a game with an orange ball which you bounce. What was that called again?)

The final award is the Wait, What? Seriously? Award. This award is given to the sentences, or things that kind of look like sentences, which made the judge assume she had misread but when she re-read it she saw that no, it really did say that.

The bronze goes to the verbing of a noun effort of 'I am turtle your work.' I really don't know what the author thought turtle meant and I don't think they did either. (I should say that I thought turtles lived in Bhutan but apparently they don't so I shouldn't have included it in a question. Oops. However the question did tell them that it was a noun and I adjusted marks equitably)

The silver goes to amazing effort that makes you wonder what the author thinks her mother might do in the future. In a letter to her mother the author wrote 'I love you so far.'

For the gold the judge went for a sentence which may be a profound philosophical statement, but she really doubts it. Can you work out what 'The Belle was longer the Belle is dead when the Belle is' means? I couldn't either.

Well done to all the winners and just remember, if you really neglect your studies you too could walk away with a completely non-existent award and the knowledge that you probably made your English teacher bang her head on her desk repeatedly. See you next year! (possibly)